(hardback)Page's Bar
It should be noted that this page was written some time in 2001 and that Page's Bar is no more. Instead it's now The Westminster, a bland and ordinary pub. This page is left here in memory
of a once awesome place where sci-fi geekery and beer
combined.
75 Page St, Westminster, London.
Nearest tube Pimlico or St James' Park.
Now this is one excellent place. On your way in, the first thing you
notice is a huge collection of sci-fi collectors items - the strange 3d
chess-sets, the exquisitely crafted Dr Who miniatures, signed photos of
Scoulder and Mully, very intricate starbug models, loads of stuff.
It's a pub which has allegedly been designed along the lines of
10:forward in ST:TNG. It has a cool carpet with the star fleet logo
repeated across it. It has a huge enterprise model with all the lights,
hung from the roof. It has a brilliant cocktails menu with drinks like
"Data's Delight" (a very nice one with peaches). They serve romulan
ale. They play silly stuff like "There's klingons on the starboard bow"
and for some reason nobody is embarrassed about doing all the actions.
The place is usually pretty crowded, and there's BOUND to be a few
people wearing star fleet uniforms or borg headsets, but strangely, they
don't look like geeks. They don't look out of place.
BEST OF ALL, however, are the videos they play on Saturday nights. One
of the regulars has taken a few hit songs, and completely redone the
videos from scratch using clips from various sci-fi videos (OK, mostly
star trek, but not entirely, honest). The "time warp" is a
classic. "It's just a jump to the left", and he's somehow found a clip
of a few enterprise crew jumping left. "and a step to the riiiiight",
and I guess the enterprise is hit and everyone gets thrown right. "Put
your hands on your hips", and Janeway, in a strop, puts her hands on her
hips, etc. Hilarious! Some other classics include "I'm to sexy for my
shirt" (worf ripping his shirt off), ski Sunday with loads of ships
flying around and zipping between gaps and exploding all perfectly in
time with the music, and then there's that time, which I'm sure you all
remember well, when the next gen crew all decided to do the jive bunny.
There's a B5 remix of "everybody loves me". There's also a few
non-musical videos, like a damned funny one where the "Airplane!" crash
has been spliced in with the enterprise saucer-section crash. They show
episodes of trek, b5, x-files, and stuff, which haven't come out in this
country yet. They also (seeing as it's Saturday) show you the lottery
draw live, but they kindly put a black blob over Bob Monkhouse's face so
we don't have to see it, and they also add subtitles like "BURN THE
WITCH!" when meg is doing her bit tooooooooo.
It's a fantastic place. I know most of what I've mentioned is trek
stuff, but ANYONE could enjoy this place, regardless of whether they're
a trekker or not. Apart from anything else, it's a damned good pub!
I'm going to try to organise an IFIS trip up there one Saturday evening
in the next term, perhaps on the evening of one of the usual "tour of
London sci-fi shops" trips. I'd recommend it to anyone.
Live long and prosper!
Nick (information superhighwayman)
Directions From St James' Park tube
Take the broadway exit and walk through the mini
shopping-centre. Continue sort of rightish down Broadway itself, past
New Scotland Yard (with the spinning triangular sign like on the
telly). Cross over the main road (Victoria St?) and down the little
road opposite with the bollards across the far end. Go across the mini
roundabout into Horseferry Road, and just keep going, following the
curve of the road to the left, until you get to the big magistrate's
court, the Department of the Environment, and a large NatWest
bank. Turn right into Marsham St, and Page Street, and Page's Bar, are
slightly further down on your right-hand side.
Directions From Pimlico
This is a route I've not walked before, but by the looks of the map,
you go down Rampayne Street and over Vauxhall Bridge Road, which drops
you into the bottom of Regency Street. Walk all the way down Regency
St, and keep going and going past Causten St and Vincent St, and
you'll eventually find the wrong end of Page Street on your
right. Walk most of the way down Page St and Page's Bar will be on
your right-hand side on the corner with Marsham St.
Directions From Waterloo
If you're feeling fit, or you dislike the tubes, you can walk driectly
from Waterloo too. Probably best to take the York Road exit, or the
exit from the international bit and then plough westwards towards the
river until you hit york road further down. Once on york road, turn
left and continue past the back of the old County Hall. Don't bother
taking Westminster bridge - go straight across the roundabout/1-way
system thing, down Lambeth Palace Road and the back of St Thomas'
Hospital. Go right, cross Lambeth bridge, go left a short way down the
Millbank, and right at Thames House. It's not clear whether the road
is already called Page St, but after you've corssed straight over the
crossroads, it will be. The next cross-roads is with Marsham St, and
Page's Bar will be blindingly obvious by this stage. This route is
perhaps as much as twice as far as either of the tube stations, but if
the tube's running really badly or you're feeling fit, you might
prefer it anyway.
