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Brownie Points


You know when people want to look as progressive as possible? Like 'oh I'm not one of THOSE nerds sexism bad women good'?


It's an uncomfortable phenomenon I've found in general, but I've noticed since coming to uni. As someone raised female, who now identifies as nonbinary, I've had conversations that don't feel so much like people are trying to impress but to convince me how not horribly sexist they are. 'I respect x fictional woman so I respect you'. 'I don't like her because of her sexiness I like her as a character' (the fact she is sexualised is unfortunate, of course, but it's part of how badass she is that she owns it). 'I drank my respecting women juice this morning slorp slorp'.

When it's not in a wider conversation, when it's just thrown out there, the only way to possibly respond is just, 'And?'

And what? What do you want from me? Praise? Brownie points? My undying admiration and respect?

Using a fictional example to tell me how not horribly sexist you are seems weak. I would just expect a decent human person to not to be horribly sexist, rather than to monologue on about fictional women. The more I hear people talk about fictional women and how this exempts them from Bad Sexism, the more sexist vibes you start to get. I mean, how some cis guy nerds talk about female characters in general is unsettling, but when it's wrapped in this kind of paper it starts to get Nice Guy Yikes.

Respecting women (or anyone) doesn't make a special kind of nerd. It just makes a decent person. Expecting praise for hitting the lowest bar is a special kind of entitlement.

Anyway. Been a little irked about this a while. Still irked. I have blog privileges now so I can vent my anger on my small audience. I know for some of you, I'm really preaching to the choir. And if you're worried this is about you, maybe examine yourself and your behaviour just a little.

Slorp respecting women juice because it's the right thing to do.

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