So Bake Off is gonna be having Vegan week, like we're living in a weird timeline where channel 4 is being Bizarre. Like 'oh we have spice week' 'oh we have vegan week' 'oh we have hipster week where we gentrify a town and drive the prices to death'. Just let Rahul win and watch him apologise to everyone for beating them. Hug him.
We've come to the conclusion that What We Do In The Shadows takes place in the same universe as the MCU; vampires exist, Taika Waititi is there. And now, crossing this over to the tipsy bakeoff chain, imagine vampires on bakeoff.
It would go like this:
- It has to take place at night, obviously
- Viago has an apron with hearts on and 'Kiss the cook'. Makes romantic things for Catherine. Wins, because he is the only one who can cook.
- Petyr kills a chicken and presents it to the judges. They are too afraid to say anything. Noel thinks this is perfectly normal and doesn't bat an eyelid
- Deacon fistfights Nick, accusing him of copying.
- Nick makes a cake that says 'I'm a vampire' on it and has fangs all over it.
- Vladislav thinks the blood of virgins is a valid cake ingredient. Has to be talked out of it by the police.
On the other hand, the werewolves-not-swearwolves would do fantastically and the alpha dude made them all their own aprons.
Quotes of the evening:
- X-box 'Play despacio'
- X-box 'Play pizza pasta'
- X-box 'Nuke China'